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Saturday, July 30, 2016

What Are The Odds?

What are the odds: that one US political party would support its loathed candidate to elect him in order to bring him up on impeachment charges and then, with the help of the opposition party convict and remove him from office in favor of his Vice President who was not the demagogue the president was?  This is 21st century America.  The odds are pretty
good .  -dP

Sunday, July 24, 2016

The Revolution Re-Visited (1776)

The Revolution will now be live-streamed.  -dP

Thursday, July 21, 2016

Also Known As

If a circle had eyes and ears, could it see and hear beyond itself?  No, it would see and hear what's within itself.  -dP

Wednesday, July 20, 2016

Do You Believe?

Without mentioning any names, there's this News Channel. It goes by the slogan "We report, you decide". (It should be "We report, you decide if we're telling the truth.) But I decided with 57channels and nothing on TV, I would have to despair before I turned on an Opinion Channel for the  news of the day. What do you think?  -dP

Monday, July 18, 2016


I like convention. Especially this time of the quadrennial year.  But I was thinking: who would be more likely if elected President of The United States of America, to put up black shutters on the White House or paint the front door red? A man or a woman? -dP

Saturday, July 16, 2016

The Apple of My Eye

Whenever I travel I see "Brooklyn NY" or "Brooklyn USA" shirts and accessories everywhere.  And when I get home what do I see ?  Bronx is getting jealous of Brooklyn. But I tell Bronx, "you have the NY Yankees so  what more do you need?"   They're still jealous.  What should Bronx NY do? -dP

Thursday, July 14, 2016

Happy Bastille Day (July 14th 2016 )

As usual, a united people will never be defeated.  -dP

Monday, July 4, 2016

E Pluribus Unum ( July 4th 2016 )

I always thought that the best present anyone ever received as a gift was what the People of France gave us for our 100th birthday. Lady Liberty. The Statue that stands over all of us. "Give us your tired your hungry your poor," she says.  "All of you".  "We'll put you to work and we'll protect you. Now that you are one of us, we'll take care of the rest." Thank you France and Happy Birthday America.  -dP

Sunday, July 3, 2016

Dinner at Eight

I usually don't share recipes but this one I will share with you. It's called An American Dressing. 


1/2  cup mayonnaise
1/2  cup ketchup
1/8  cup green relish
salt and pepper to taste

Mix all of the above in a serving cup. Chill and serve over a wedge of your favorite green. 

That's it. An American Dressing.

Friday, July 1, 2016

What Recourse, No Discourse?

If you tell me from the Speakers Chair, that the President of the United States isn't trustworthy, then I'll tell you, "you lack the stature of a US leader".
If you ask the President of The United States of America at a news conference if he, the President is "crazy", then you don't have what it takes  to be a news reporter.  It's the reason we argue instead of discuss,  and fight  instead of settle.  When we have  complete lack of objectivity and respect of others' opinion then we have a break down in our primary means of communication and hence no discourse of means.  -dP

Buck Eye Bill

He is, was and always will be.  He has no beginning and he has no end. He's all powerful and all encompassing.  His name is Bill.  And he knows who, what, where, when, how and why you exist. Don't try to get away from him.  Because he'll find you. He's Bill, the Almighty Buck.  -dP

Thursday, June 30, 2016

Who's On First

The First Lady is the wife of the President. But who is the Husband of the President?  Might I suggest The First Husband.  It's handy.  -dP

Monday, June 27, 2016

I Said.

He said, she said, he said, she said who said?   -dP

Friday, June 24, 2016

If, Then What?

When life gives you shit, make a compost pile.  At least you'll have rich soil for a couple of pots of tomato plants.  With that you've got ketchup, salads, baked tomatoes  and spaghetti sauce. Bon Appetit.  -dP

Thursday, June 23, 2016

No Way To San Jose

When the problem seems too difficult to overcome, remember that there's always a way to get from point A to point B.  It's called a straight line. Just head out in that direction.  -dP

Tuesday, June 21, 2016

Down The Shore

There's an old saying in New Jersey. Vote early. Vote often.. That usually works but a lot of out- of- stators sometimes get the Voting booths mixed up with the Toll Booths on the Garden State Parkway. That's were all the confusion is. -dP

It's Never a Long Way to Tip a Few Beers

Once a friend always a friend. That's the way it should be. So no matter how far away your friends are, they're never too far away to say "Hey".  -dP

Monday, June 20, 2016

Old Man Winter

Yesterday was the Summer Solstice.  Yes the first day of Summer.  Showers have already turned to flowers and they are about to give way to lawn clippings.  That's right lawn clippings.  What could be worse than that?  What's worse if you stop to think about it, is that from now on, the days get shorter and shorter; with less light, less warmth..... then Winter is here all over again.  But, don't worry. Summer will return next year.  Same time, same place, same channel. Be there or be square.  -dP

What Time Is The 4 o'Clock News On?

Round and round the world goes round and when and where it stops nobody can tell. But when it does do you turn to your tv, radio or personal communication device?  Then to quote a reliable source, "news is always biased because someone has to decide what we see hear or read".  And that's my news for the day.  -dP

The Summer Soltice (June 2016)

On the first day of Summer, remember this: Everything isn't what it is. One Heiney a Summer doesn't make.

Sunday, June 19, 2016

Happy Father's Day

Dad's are great, but one of the best things about mine as I got older were the hand-me-downs.  As an adult I fit into all his cool shirts. But now he's gone and I miss him.  What I have now is hand-me-ups from his grandson. And since he reminds me of my father, I'm still happy because he's here even though my father isn't . Happy Father's Day dad.  -dP

Saturday, June 18, 2016

Am I Naked Under What I Have On?

Yes.  I always am naked under what I have on. And I see that you are too. You didn't think I knew?  I figured it out.  Now you know what I know.  -dP

Thursday, June 16, 2016

Comme ci, Comme ca (Cedilla omitted)

Tit for tat, this for that, you scratch my back and I'll scratch yours, quid pro quo, one hand washes the other. They all mean the same thing:  Six of one, half a dozen of the other, that's what they mean. -dP

Til' We Meet Again

When we met, I told you  plain and simple, "We will respect your revolution if you respect our revolution of 1776."  From there we agreed on some things but on others we didn't see eye to eye.  If we meet again, we can continue our dialogue. -dP

Wednesday, June 15, 2016

Eight Days a Week (The Beatles Revisited, Again)

I like to do things. I do things all the time.  But I have the best time on Thursdays.  So I always do things that are fun to do on Thursdays.  I was born on a Thursday, maybe that's why.  But there's one thing wrong about Thursday.  No one ever wrote a song about Thursday. -dP

It's The Law

The Law of the US Circle is the singular law of the US Constitution.  -dP

Me Myself and I (The Beatles Revisited )

I am me and you are me and we are me but we're not me together.  -dP

Tuesday, June 14, 2016

My Greek Chorus

Life's short, but sometimes My Greek Chorus chimes in with what seems like a professionally produced,  "A three hour tour......a three hour tour".
All of a sudden, enlightenment. And I think I understand it all. But then another "Three hour tour,.... a three hour tour". So when you think you've got it all figured out just remember Gilligan finally did get off the island and he did it without My Greek Chorus.  -dP

The Problem of Math

It's been a long time since I learned that you can't add apples and oranges.
But after thinking about it just as long, 3 apples plus 2 oranges = 5 pieces of fruit.  There's no two ways about it. Yes Sister Virginia, I don't want to say that you were wrong, but  you can add apples and oranges, plain and simple.  -dP

Coup d Lingua

The great debate. My words against theirs. Their case was strong.  I made my point. And counterpoint. They failed. I was victorious. A war of words.  Achieved  diplomatically.   -dP

Happy Flag Day

Do your colors run Red White and Blue?  Do you know the difference between the flags of Russia France and Netherlands? Do you care?
Is there a reason to care? True Colors don't run.  -dP

The Real Mona Lisa

When they tell you "Smile, you're on Candid Camera", do they really mean it?  Maybe they just mean "We've  got you now! "  Next time I would re-consider signing that permission to use your image agreement.  -dP

Change for a Buck

Got a Bill?   I'll break it for you.  But I can't guarantee it's full faith and credit.  Only the US Government can do that. So be careful who breaks that buck for you.  -dP

Monday, June 13, 2016

The Language of Languages

Languages think for themselves. But when our language changes we don't know what we are hearing until it becomes an accepted form of communication. When it does, then we all speak the same language.  -dP

Call Waiting

I picked up the phone the other day. I do a lot on my phone. But after looking at it for a moment wondering what I wanted to do, I remembered that I wanted to make a call....?  -dP

Sunday, June 12, 2016

Corpus Lingua

Body language. You can read it all day long, and it will always tell you the truth.  But it will also fool a lie detector test.  -dP

Janus and Me

In the beginning, faces. Everybody has one.  Janus, though  had two. So we call him two-faced. But he was a very forward looking personality. He was also  a little backwards. Hence, his nick name, the God of Coming and Going. So if you think that you might have  more then one face, just ask yourself this  "who's my other face, and what is  he doing?"  -dP

Thursday, June 9, 2016

Game's On

Life's a horse race. Betting on it doesn't make it any better or worse. Remember the old adage, " it's not whether you win or lose, it's how you play the game".  -dP

Post No Bills

Everyone needs a word for the day.  Just tell someone what the word for the day is and wait till it comes back to you later on. You can even make up a word.  You might even hear it on the radio or tv.  Maybe you'll hear it at the supermarket. But you'll definitely hear it back.  And that's my word for the day.  -dP

Wednesday, June 8, 2016

You've Got A Case

I say I knew it first. You claim you knew it before me.  I say you know it ex post facto...... That's my claim. -dP


You say you are sorry. That just means you are a sad person. Do you mean that you apologize?  Or don't we understand each other?  Communication is the answer to the problem.  -dP

A Chicken In Every Pot and a Car in Every Garage ?

The Re-poop-licans will poop all over you. The Dime-a-crats will nickle and dime you to death.
So in this election year;

''I promise you a Raisin in every Cheerio and a box of Cheerios Brand Raisin O's in every kitchen.
Thank you and good night."   -dP

Yes We Have No Bananas

My mother told me a long time ago that I had the best nose in the family. I thought it was because all of her sisters and their daughters had their noses done (at Montefiore), and mine didn't need it.  That was when I was a little boy.  I didn't tell her that my father was my nose but I figured out later that she knew. My father's gone now and so is my mother. I have a girlfriend  and I have a best friend. And that is what I know. -dP

Monday, June 6, 2016

Black Is Black

This is my opinion.  Black people have a habit of using the Black Word while speaking amongst themselves. But when the conversation includes White People or is overheard by White People, then Black People equip others to use the Black Word themselves.  Besides Blacks, other people will use it to harm or insult. Without thinking we all go for the jugular. But if we speak it, then who is wrong, You, Me or Them?


Did you ever wonder who they are?  They talk about them all the time. That's what they say. I asked around and it turns out that they are actually the people who predict the weather. But if you ask them they'll tell you that it's not so. They don't predict the weather they forecast the weather.  And that's what "they" say.  -dP

Everybody Knows It

There are only two reasons to do it. Make babies, or have fun.  Everybody does it.  Everybody knows it.  -dP

Mr Moon

Did you know that everything is digital these days.  Even the moons are digital.  Let me explain:  The full moon is 4 quarters of a moon.  4 divided by 4 equals one.  1 is a closed digital switch  (Filling in those circles on your IBM card closes the switch)) .  A new moon is unseen.  Therefore it is a zero moon. Zero is an open digital switch. Hence, the moons are digital. So are they electronic?  In the future.  -dP


If I don't know it, I look it up.  If I don't believe it, I look it up. Don't you?  Sure you do. Seeing is believing.   -dP

Go Your No On?

They say that some know what they know and others don't, but those that do always got their No on.

Sunday, June 5, 2016

The Real CIA

My friend just graduated from the Cooking Institute of America. It's the most prestigious gastronomic College in the world.  And, he confided in me, that at the CIA, if you want to get someone back for spying on you while you're concocting a new secret recipe, just invite him over to your place and feed him an extra thick peanut butter sandwich ,on whole wheat bread, sans milk. That should take care of the problem. -dP

Nick and Tina's Divorce

Nick and Tina have announced that they have broken apart. I guess the cigarette smoke was too much for their in-laws.  -dP

On Translateral Dominance

They say that right handed people live longer and are smarter than left handed people.  They seem always to have more money than lefties also.
But what is it that ambidextrous people have over both of their counterparts?
An ambidextrous person is both left handed and right handed, so he/she can do two things at once. Imagine. -dP

Saturday, June 4, 2016

Love At First Sight

Ahh, she was beautiful.  Shapely and refined.  Intelligent looking too. Everything a man could ever want.  Except for one thing. She was wearing purple, so I knew she was married.   -dP 

Hear Yea, Hear Yea, Hear Yea

Every 4 years a few things happen.  It's a Leap Year. The Olympics roll around, and it's time to elect a President of the United States.
Whew!  But some things being more important then others, at least to some, when choosing a President, make sure you vote for the one candidate that is really going to give you your money's worth.  Because no matter what any candidate says, it always comes down to one thing.  -dP

Etiquette Reimagined

We're so hip these days that most Blue Books have had to confront the problem of how to formally address in writing two husbands or two wives.
Might I suggest Mrr. Bob Clark and Sam Jones and Mss Cindy Smith and Mary Adams. That should solve the problem. Cool.  -dP

Friday, June 3, 2016

Browser Browser Browser

It used to be that whenever I went into the mall for an electronics or computer something or other, I would be lost in a world that I didn't understand. So I figured out early on that the guy who didn't start shaving yet always new more then anybody else.  After awhile I just started to approach anyone that looked 16 years old or younger. It makes me feel good to know that I know something that somebody else doesn't.  Now I always get really good service. -dP

Farhenheit or Centigrade?

When she whispered Vermouth over the glass of Bombay Gin, I knew it was going to be a really dry Martini. Fever. -dP

Don't I Look Like That Famous Movie Star What's His Name?

Fame is fleeting, that's why I never sought it.  -dP

Thursday, June 2, 2016

See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil

When the medium becomes the message,  remember to think.  -dP

A Beta Man

A Beta Man is a better man. Unlike an Alpha Male, he's tested, tried and true.  -dP

Is Jesus a Universal Soldier?

Yes. He fights for everyone and every cause, as long as he knows that they are righteous and just. A man for our time . And for all time.  -dP

Tuesday, May 31, 2016

I'm Afraid of The Dark

I'm not a xenophobe but I don't like German Boloney.  If they wanted to put garlic in boloney, they should have put it in Mortadella.  -dP

Happy Memorial Day

Here's to those that came before us and to those that gave their lives so that we could live in freedom.  -dP

Pasta Makes The World Go Round (Christopher Columbus 1492 )

What's the difference between linguine and spaghetti?  Linguine is flat spaghetti and spaghetti is round linguine.  And now you know what makes the world go round.  -dP

Who Is Aardvark Zaardrvark?

Aardvark Zaardvark is a US American. And when he travels, he's a US National.  But when he's at home, everyone wants to know where he's from. So he tells them that he's a little bit this, and a little bit that. But mostly he's related to himself.   Aardvark Zaardvark, a true blue American.  -dP

Shrink Wrap

If you're all alone, it's tough to break the 4th Wall. But if you do, don't tell your psychiatrist.   -dP

Got Ya !

A Gun Faggot is a police officer that passes a cigarette on someone. -dP

Monday, May 30, 2016

Men In Waiting

What did Roosevelt tell Stalin that Churchill said at Yalta?  Roosevelt told him quote,
"Your eyes are circle", end quote.  -dP

Sunday, May 29, 2016

Fakin' It Isn't Just a Paul Simon Song

Is False Positive sex the same as faking it? Or is True Positive sex the same as a simultaneous orgasm?  Yes.  -dP

Andy, Do You Believe?

I believe that they put a man on the moon.  And I believe in the Nicene Creed.  I Believe in Elvis and I believe in Myself.  There's nothing up my sleeve.  This I believe.   -dP

Wimpy Revisited

I'd gladly pay you Thursday for a chocolate chip cookie today. -dP

Saturday, May 28, 2016

Digirati In Perspective

The Gilded Age brought us The Age of Consumerism, WWI, The Great Depression, WWII, and  The Baby Boom Generation.We yielded  GenX, GenY and The Millennials, and produced a polluted Earth, climate change and The Age of Connectivity, the New Guilded Age. Does history repeat itself or have we learned from it?   -dP

Tuesday, May 17, 2016

Friday, May 13, 2016

Question Authority

I'll tell you the reason I won't answer your question. It is that you who asks already knows the answer you want. dP

What's Good for the Goose Is Good for the Gander

I'm a firm believer in a rule of law. But I believe that criminals should have rights. Because if criminals have rights, then law abiding citizens have rights.  -dP

Monday, May 9, 2016

To Everything There Is A Reason

Everything is connected cause and effect. Nothing is coincidental.  -dP

Friday, May 6, 2016

You Can't Take It With You

A Suburban American Princess isn't really a member of a Royal Family.  But she can have everything she wants, because she has a rich  American Daddy. -dP

Monday, May 2, 2016

Thursday, April 28, 2016

Say What?

Don't let Artificial Intelligence become your other ear.

Paint by Numbers

Life is not a selfie. Life is a formal portrait.-dP

Friday, April 8, 2016


Death comes to all. But when I die I prefer to die from severe old age. -dP

Saturday, April 2, 2016

Behind Every Man

 Woman  is the beauty, pleasure and soul of survival.-dP

Friday, April 1, 2016

And If Elected

When it comes time for a Presidential election, maybe we should announce the results "one if by land, two if by sea, three if by political coup d 'etat ".

Wednesday, March 30, 2016

Brothers and Others

They say that Blood is thicker than water, but Water can be just as thick as blood when the Water is between two of the same ilk.

Sunday, March 27, 2016

Happy Easter

Jesus was the First Revenant. -dP

Thursday, March 24, 2016

Born Free

God is life's fulcrum. The evil and ugliness around us is everything that good and beautiful is not. -dP

Saturday, March 19, 2016

Semantic Boxing

When thoughts accumulate into words, many things can be said. -dP

Friday, March 18, 2016

A Rose Is A Rose Is A Rose

To be politically correct, who's calling the pot dirty? -dP

Friday, March 11, 2016

And That's How Art Became Art

Life imitates life and the imitation is called Art. -dP

Sunday, January 31, 2016

Words To Live By

Not to sound cynical, but I learned a long time ago, never trust anyone, and never do anything without a witness. -dP

Thursday, January 14, 2016

One In A Million

If we ever recover from being born, chances are we'll be better off for it.  -dP

Time Flies When You're Having Fun

The future gets closer to tomorrow, everyday.  -dP

Wednesday, November 18, 2015

The Dime Store Kid

Music is candy to the ear, sweet and satisfying and always a treat. -dP

Tuesday, November 10, 2015

All Rise

Except in Jeopardy, the question to the answer is always moot. -dP

Sunday, November 8, 2015

Shake Riddle and Role

What can be written four ways whose word can be written only three ways? -dP

Even Steven

A compromise is an agreement to disagree. -dP

Wednesday, November 4, 2015

Can You Prove It?

You know it's a Wiki World when you can't believe everything you hear and only half of what you see.   -dP

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Monday, October 12, 2015

What Makes The Man?

The measure of a man is his strength in arms.  But without strength in God, he has no arms to be strong. -dP

Sunday, October 11, 2015

Hush Hush and Very Confidential

A secret is something you keep to yourself. If you tell someone else, it's no longer a secret.  -dP