ABOUT THE BEATLES

Are you like me and still pine over the Beatles breaking up? Well I've been thinking a lot about this over the years, and now as I'm in the middle of the Autumn of my life I've decided that the Beatles breakup wasn't bad. In fact what we as fans got for the breakup was four times the music of the Beatles for the same price! Not too shabby don't you think. So if you still like to listen to the Fab Four, the Lads from Liverpool, remember four for the price of one is a pretty good deal. Agree?

WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT?

I was having a bad day when a man came up to me and gave me a look in the eye and said " Life Sucks, and then you die."
Did he really have to say that?

MY SEVENTH GREAT GRANDFATHER SAYS

My seventh great grandfather always said,
The bigger a family gets, the smaller a family gets.
How did he know?

WE THE PEOPLE..........

A Government of the people by the people and for the people, is the people.

WHAT'S IT ALL ABOUT?

Life is like a bowl full of Jello............
It doesn't have a punch line.

WHAT'S THAT YOU SAY?

I was just thinking.................

A WISE MAN ONCE SAID

Don't believe everything you hear, and only half of what you see.

A WISE MAN ONCE SAID

You always have to remember a lie, you never have to remember the truth.

A WISE MAN ONCE SAID

The root of all evil is man's basic instinct to survive.

WHAT'S THE POINT?

The point behind the word point is the word.

A WING AND A PRAYER

Seek and you shall find.

A WISE MAN ONCE SAID.........

A wise man once said:

Every no that I get, gets me closer to a yes.

That's why he was a wise man.

THINGS ARE LOOKING UP

If things aren't looking up,
remember this:

Hope is a Prayer.

Never forget it.

I REMEMBER WHEN..............

Do you remember when?
You know, when the Olympic atheletes were younger then you.
When the President of the United States of America was younger then you.
And of course your favorite Rock N Roller was single and did't have any grandkids like they do now.
Do you remember when?
Or are you too old to remember?

A WISE MAN ONCE SAID

A wise man once said,
If it's not one thing it's another.

Who's to argue with a wise man?

I WAS JUST THINKING........

I was just thinking.
Did you ever try it?
Thinking that is.
I try it every so often, and it always feels good.
I don't know, I was just thinking.......

IT'S THAT TIME AGAIN

Yes, the elections for President of these United States.
Once again, men and women are declaring for the White House.
How American.
And to many people tiring.
Elections always take a toll on me.
The candidates going on and on. The debates. And nobody ever says anything that seems to make sense.

How 'bout you?
Are you excited? or bored?

HERE TODAY , GONE TOMORROW

Politicians: you can't live with them and you can't live without them.
Take the Democrats, aka the Dime-o-crats. They are the liberals.
And take the Republicans, aka the Re-poop-licans. They blow a lot of hot air.
But one thing is for sure.
As we approach election day remember this:

The Dime-o-crats will nickle and dime you to death, and The Re-poop-licans will poop all over you.
And that's neither conservative or liberal, nor is it a lot of hot air.

A WISE MAN ONCE SAID

Curiosity killed the cat,
But it was satisfaction that brought him back.

TEN DOLLARS DOWN, TEN DOLLARS PERMONTH

Welcome to Rainbow Estates.

THE CONTINUING STORY OF AARDVARK ZAARDVARK

Aardvark Zaardvark was always interested in genealogy. His mother, Zelda and his father Zachary Zaardvark were first generation Americans.
They called themselves Heinz 57 Variety Americans. Aardvark just called himself a mut, mixed breed.
Aardvark's family is part American, part English, part German, part Swedish, part Chinese, part Australian and part Hebrew. He is also part Brazilian, but not part Portuguese, and also part Russian and part Icelandic. He is also part Eskimo but doesn't eat whale meat. He did hear once that he was related to himself, but couldn't confirm it.

So when it came time to trace the family tree, Aardvark Zaardvark decided to hire a professional.
He searched high and low but no one would take on the daunting task of tracing his family line.

And so it is until this day that Aardvark Zaardvark has decided to give up the search for any of his ancestors and will forever in his own mind be nothing more then a USAmerican.

CAR 54 WHERE ARE YOU?

My brother-in-law Warren Burnett is a police officer who once said " I thought that I was wrong, but I was mistaken."
Always one for humor, he once invited me to a deli for a sandwich.
We sat down and I ordered corned beef on rye and then he went on to order by saying "Make mine a whole wheat on rye".
Just what would I have to do to be as humorous as he?

GRANDMA SAYS

My Grandmother Catherine could make a mean lasagna. She should, she was born in Italy.
And Poppy Lou her husband was a wise man.
But Grandma had an intuitive sense about some things.
For instance, she would always claim, that two thing were true:

Since man landed on the moon, the weather hasn't been the same,
And they always know who is going to win the lotto before they pick the numbers.

I remember Grandma.

A FREE COUNTRY

Wouldn't it be cool if there was only one law here in the USAmerica.
Just one law.....
That law should be that you can do anything you want to do that you can afford to do, or have to do, as long as you don't hurt anybody or anything.

Wouldn't life be easier?

AND THIS JUST IN...

.....And finally, if elected I promise you,
a Raisin in every Cheerio,
And a Box of Cheerios Brand RaisinOs in every Kitchen..........
Thank you and good night.

I KNOW WHO DID IT

If one person is in an elevator and he farts,
everyone knows who did it.
If two people are in an elevator and one of them farts,
everyone still knows who did it.
But if three people are in an elevator and only one person farts,
Only a really good detective could figure out who did it.

A SALUTE TO BEANS

Beans, beans the musical fruit,
the more you eat, the more you toot.
The more you toot the more you sing,
Beans, beans a wonderful thing.

Say Amen.
Amen.