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Tuesday, November 29, 2016

Peter Zenger's Zinger

Don't you like what ifs?  Like what if there was no heaven. Or what if there were no wars. And now-a-days  with all this talk of law and order, what if a news reporter had to be licensed by the government to report the news.  That would be different. What would you do instead?   -dP

Sunday, November 27, 2016

Moses and The Staff of Life

Everybody's into bread these days.  You don't have to be a millennial foodie to appreciate it.  So I bake my own.  Two loves on Sunday.  Got my sourdough starter from Moses. Very old. The line is pretty good also.  He got his from God's Manna.  Straight from heaven.  I'll get you some starter for your own .  -dP

Saturday, November 19, 2016

Stuff It This Thanksgiving

There's always a lot to be thankful for.  You don't have to wait around for Thanksgiving to give thanks.  But this year when giving thanks with family and friends, give thanks that God gave us chocolate and stuff your turkey with Chocolate Bread Stuffing.  God likes chocolate too.   -dP

The Greatest Miliary Invasion of All Times

Is not D-day. It's not a locust swarm.  No it's the invasion of an army of 10 plus million.  They size of the total 10 largest standing armies in the world.  They would include China, The United States, India, North Korea, Iran, Russia, Pakistan, South Korea ,Turkey and Viet Nam.  Who is this Army that's invaded the United States?  It's the total minimum estimated population that's entered the USA illegally and living here without permission.  Isn't that an invasion?  Of course it is. What do you call it?   -dP 

Back To Square One

It's called Full Circle.  It means starting out in one place and winding up in the same place as you began.  Doesn't sound to efficient now does it?  Not really but to come full circle does have one benefit. It means we know where we're coming from.  dP

Friday, November 18, 2016

To Life

Life. Live it fully and live it well, but always live it good. -dP

To Your Health

A bowl of bran, a glass of wine and an aspirin a day.  What other remedies are there to a healthy life?  Not many.  In fact there's only one. Take care of yourself in anyway you believe.  Health will always follow.  -dP

Thursday, November 17, 2016

The Other Hat On

What's a Red Hat Lady and what do they do?  Well the first time I ever saw them, I thought that they were a bunch of sheriff's deputies dressed in drag trying to solve a cold case.  Not so.  Red Hat ladies are a social group that get together every so often for lunch.   They have an official outfit: A big red hat and a purple dress.  Why red and purple?  Ostensibly because red and purple don't match.  But whatever. What I figured out is this:  they get together once a month to talk about their red blooded husbands' purple hearts.  It turns out their purple hearts are not won in battle.  It's the battle between the sexes that they discuss. And after their luncheon, they go back home and tell their husbands that they had a great time with the girls. I'd tell their husbands just ask them what's for dinner and leave it at that.  -dP

Alive in Christ

At the end of the day, when all is done, if you have nothing at all to be thankful for, give thanks for being alive in your own God.  -dP

Tuesday, November 15, 2016

On Death

Death is not something that we dwell on.  If we did, we'd probably all be dead from the worry about dying.  But it happens to all of us.  And this is always in the back of our minds. As we grow older our days remaining become less and less a percentage of the time we've already spent alive.  So we most likely realize that its about to come upon us.  But do we worry?  No, but only because it's part of our totality. And that's the knowledge that most of us come to accept well before we're dead.  -dP

Only The Future Knows

What is it that the future knows that it won't tell us?  Is it important?  We probably think so if we thought about it.  But who pays much attention to it?  Not most of us.  Not on a regular basis at least.  So what does it know?
If I knew, then I'd be the future.  So I'll tell you I'm not the future, but I am  now and that's where I live, in the now.    -dP

Saturday, November 12, 2016

Power Up

With all this talk about the economy, jobs going over seas, trade agreements, trade tariffs and the rust belt, what do we need to do to re-build an economy here at home?  Without keeping ahead of the technology curve, we need to find a new way around our old ways. Try this on; power a new economy by going green.  Build it around everything environmentally sound.  Clean energy, clean transportation, clean building, complete use of re-cycled products. It goes on and on.  New technology develops as the mother of our necessity.  And to keep our environment alive for living beings, green invention is our only future. -dP

How Low Can You Go?

Mark my words. With 11 million illegal entrants in the United States, millions of whom are working, and yes paying taxes, this one thing is certain;  If all of the illegals left the country, more Americans would be employed in jobs that many say none would take. Why? Wages earned by illegal immigrants keep all wages artificially low. How? Most Americans can't afford to work in jobs that don't pay a living wage.   Hence, without the illegals, wages would rise for all  the legals. It's called supply and demand.   -dP

Thursday, November 10, 2016

No Speakie Inglish

Did you ever wonder why what some languages take ten words to say, American English takes a hundred words to say?  It's probably because we have  so much to say that it just takes a lot of words  to say it.   Or maybe it's because we have such a descriptive language.  Either way many people wonder why this is.   -dP

Wednesday, November 9, 2016

I Declare

As Americans we lead the world.  Others look to us for advice and support.  So with that in mind, and in these difficult times, The Congress of the United States should declare an Act of War against all terrorists, state sponsored or otherwise, and those who harbor terrorists. Easy, simple and perfectly clear. -dP

I Told You So

For months the news media has been saying that Donald J. Trump had no way to win this election unless this that and the other thing happened.  There were several ways for him to win.  Hillary Clinton had a straight path to the White House. But in my opinion she had only one way to win.  Figure out how to make sure the Trump machine had no way to make any combination of ways to win.  So Mr Trump said to his team  "this is how they say is the only way to win.  If we lose here, then we have to win there and so on and so forth."  So CBS NBC ABC Fox MSNBC CNN and others proceeded to tell the Trump team how to go about winning the election.  If you don't win there, then you must win over there and there and so on and so forth.  And so it was, and so it is.  Congratulations Mr Trump and congratulations to the American news media for you insight. -dP

Wednesday, November 2, 2016

The New Pentameter

F'in' this and f'in' that.  It appears that our language is changing once again.
And it should if not just to "keep up with the times".  But the curious obsession with vulgarities and blasphemy in ordinary conversation is bemusing.  What's it about?  I call it pentameter.  We're having trouble expressing ourselves so this and that become a way of filling in the sentences.  A New Pentameter.  Call it what you like but what do you do if you don't like the change?  It  not poetic, but it is pentamic.  -dP

Monday, October 31, 2016

Say A Prayer for the Pretender

Once there was a man.  And he knew what he was talking about when he said "you always have to remember a lie, but never have to remember the truth".  -dP

Monday, October 24, 2016

On Hate

I don't have hate.  I have  for some people or things an attitude of lets just not be together.  It's probably because I understand what hate is;  a violent expression of or a passionate feeling of  dislike towards someone. Probably because this someone is bothersome. Whatever the reason is that someone annoys  you  to the state of hate is not particularly important, except to maybe a psychologist.  But to me I'd just rather be gone with you.  -dP  

Thursday, October 20, 2016

Who Are We?

We spend lots of time every four years wondering who are these Presidential Candidates and what do they stand for.  But have we ever stopped to think, who are the people that are supporting these candidates.  Polls pundits and demographers aside what does it mean if we've come down to describing people as 'deplorables', 'old white men', 'pigs', and  'red necks', 'racists', 'Nazis ' and these are just to name a few descriptions of the electorate. Who are we as a people?  Where do we come from and is this who we are?  Maybe we should take a closer look at ourselves and say "maybe I don't want to be described that way. or maybe that's really who I am and maybe I should think about whether I want to be seen as such."  Any way we see ourselves, how do others see us?   -dP

The State of Jerusalem

It always seems to be that when it comes to solving the problems of The Middle East, that we get bogged down over Jerusalem.  So maybe we should start there first. 
Since both sides claim it for themselves and some don't even want to talk about sharing the city, think about this:  suppose Jerusalem wasn't in either state of Israel or in  Palestine.  Suppose it wasn't Israeli or Palestinian.  Where would it be?  How about a sovereign state.  The State of Jerusalem.  It could have it's own government and it could be the Capitol of Israel, historically and eternally forever, and the Capitol of Palestine historically and forever, but not in either.  Jerusalem City, Jerusalem.   Would that solve the problem?  Or am I a dreamer?  Who was it that said " you can fool some of the people some of the time and all of the people some of the time, but you can't fool all of the people all of the time"?   Whomever, this isn't meant to fool or deceive, but to start the conversation once and for all.    -dP

Wednesday, October 19, 2016

How to Build a Democracy

In most respects, it has to be true, that the measure of a strong democracy, or democratic republic, is how large a percentage of the population owns it's own residence.  The larger the figure, the stronger the republic.  The reason:  who takes more interest in their communities, their states, and hence there nation?  Homeowners or non-homeowners?  The answer is obvious.  There is more of an interest in protecting your own property then someone else's. So when you think about protecting your property, think about protecting your rights. And when you think about protecting your rights,  protecting your  right to own property becomes the strongest reason to vote.  -dP

Parlez-vous Francais?

In other words, do you like the way Julia Childs cooked?  Some did and some didn't.  No doubt about it though, she knew what she was doing.  Wine and all. But never a cigarette after dinner. 
If her husband never let her smoke, she probably just bummed one from a disc jockey at Radio Free Europe,where Paul Childs kept the flame of democracy bright for the US State Department after he left the OSS.   But being the gourmand that she was, I'm sure she enjoyed every  morsel she prepared,  Leftovers probably went to the pigeons and moles out in the backyard.  Voila!  -dP

Tuesday, October 18, 2016

The Age of Innocence

When did we lose our innocence?  Maybe it was about the time of the last President that we referred to by his initials.  Or maybe it was when we lost a President a Reverend and a Senator.  Or maybe it was just after WWII.  But somewhere and some time ago we lost it. Where'd it go?  Did anyone turn it in to the Lost and Found?  No.  Is it gone forever.  Lost items usually are. 
Can we replace it?  With what you ask?  Peace. Go find it. Love. We tried it.  Music. We still have it.  But innocence, ours at least, is gone.  -dP

Monday, October 3, 2016

It's a Fact.

Some people believe that 98% of the people know what 99% of the people don't know. -dP

Sunday, October 2, 2016

Party Hardy

Do you vote?  Democrat or Republican?  When the candidates become elected representatives of the people,  do they have a Party on the people?  Or is that just a misnomer?  Suppose I sit on the fence?  Then, am I included?  Maybe I just prefer to vote for the candidate that I believe can get the job done running the country at home, and representing it's interests abroad better then any other person.  I guess I'm just a voter.  -dP

The Great Debate

Do more Republicans drink Coke?  According to marketing studies Republicans are mostly Coke drinkers.  Does that mean that Democrats are mostly Pepsi drinkers?  By inference,  I would assume.  But maybe they drink C&C or some other brand.  Who knows?  Only their grocery store managers.    -dP

Saturday, October 1, 2016

Who's Fault Is It Anyway?

Are we victims?  That's what everybody says.  Of whom or what?  We're mostly victims of ourselves but too many people are claiming that we are all victims of somebody else's actions.  It's never our fault, it's always someone else's fault. A new phenomenon.  We've been victimized.  When will we start taking responsibility for own actions?  -dP

Thursday, September 29, 2016

One Born Every Minute

Am I a sucker for a woman?  I don't know what you mean.  Am I keeping one?  Playing up to one?  Or just going along with the deal?  I'm not really a gambler.   Poker is not my game .  But I like to play anyway .   -dP

With Liberty and Justice for All

You and me.  Liberty and Justice for all.  Not just for some.  Like those in charge. But for everyone.  For every little thing. And every little person. And every big thing. And all and every person.  That's what it is.  That's what it's about.   -dP

Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Across The Rainbow

I don't see color.  All people are beautiful.  I do believe. All people do believe in something even if it is just  themselves.  I'm a US American.  It doesn't matter where  you come from. We are all equal.    -dP

Shave and A HairCut Two Bits

Fifteen dollars for a haircut seems like a lot of money to me.  And it is.  But what annoys me more is spending $2.50 for a newspaper.  I don't know whether my grandfather said it or not, but news in a newspaper is a day old.  So,  like a day old  loaf of bread a newspaper is stale. Yesterday's news always is.  Should it be half-price.  Don't you agree?    -dP

Saturday, September 24, 2016

The Last Word on the Cigarette

Have you ever wondered what would happen if you broke a cigarette between both hands?  After all, the body is electric and so is the atmosphere.  If you open a cigarette by breaking it in half,  have you just let something or someone  in?  And if so, do you know how to close it.  In other words turn it off?  Did you know that you just turned on a switch?  No?  Then maybe you should think twice before you pick up that cancer stick.  Because like crack, cigarettes kill.  -dP

Hallo, Hallo

I come to my telephone with a heavy thumb.  Sad but true.  I've been around the world on my telephone but it's never been uninterrupted.  How many times have I wound up in Macy's Department Store in  Colombo,Ceylon; or stopped in at  Chicago City Hall, or wound up on the west coast of Hawaii wondering why I'm interested in a time share at Komoniwannabethere Resort. Other times I realize I just signed up for a whole flock of newsletters at Searchitforme.com. Maybe I  figured out too late that I just spent $10 for a new phone book when I thought I was updating my contact list. I'm starting to believe  that it's not me, but  my heavy thumbs. And I'm still thinking will I forever be doomed to Fat Thumb Syndrome, or will The Phone Company figure out what to do?  -dP

It's Not Nice To Fool The Marlboro Man

They say it's not nice to fool Mother Nature.  The same is true for the Marlboro Man.  Once you start you're hooked.  But by chance if you break the habit and quit,  he'll get you back if you touch another one.  -dP

Wednesday, September 21, 2016

On Feeling Inadequate

Do you ever feel left out because you don't write code?  Get down?  Feel blue?  Like you're not worth anything? These days, if you don't know code, what good are you?  Do you know how I feel ?  -dP

Red Yellow and Green

So if you're wanting to get something for yourself, as they say, would you do what Elmo Johnny did?  He copped a bag on go.   Or would you just go out and earn it?  Some people, you know,  feel entitled. -dP

Getting Old Again

I haven't felt this mortal since my 39th birthday. That's about what Jack Benny would say.  I'm in my 65th  year and I'm starting to feel like my life is no longer ahead of me.  So what do I do?  I'm finished up figuring out who, what, where, when, how and why, I am who I am, so I guess I'll just kick back and enjoy the rest of the ride.  What would you do?  -dP

On War

They say that war is hell.  And it must be.  But why war?  The answer is simple.  It solves man's problems.  One way or the other we live with it or we die with it.  And that's our problem to solve.   -dP

Across My Bow

When you fire across my bow,  I take it as a warning.  But if nothing is out of the ordinary or wrong,  you may want to do the same.  -dP

Tuesday, September 20, 2016

Choices

Look around you.  What do you see?  Choices?  Then what do you choose?
Life or death?  Hunger or gluttony?  "To be or not to be"?  Shakespeare said that is the question.  So when you think about the choices you have these days, remember this:  to choose one over the other is to eliminate the other choice.  So be careful what you choose.   -dP

Monday, September 19, 2016

Of a Generation?

If you are a product of 1960's America,  then you probably remember Crosby Stills Nash and Young.  But what does it mean this election year if
"tin soldiers and Nixon coming" are still coming?  It means get out and vote.  That's what it means. -dP

One Buck Lucy

Did you ever smoke?  Many people did.  Some still do.  With the price of a pack of smokes approaching $12 in some areas of the US of A, many folks are trying to stop the habit.  So a few have started to by not a pack, but a single cigarette.  A One Buck Lucy.  A loose cigarette.  This is usually illegal because a Lucy doesn't have a tax stamp on it, so do this at your own advised risk. But those that do partake of this brand are also ones who know the value of a dollar. I really can't blame you, but if you break a buck for a Lucy, you just might wind up in jail.  -dP

Sunday, September 18, 2016

On Perseverance

Never give in. Never give up. Try once, try again and if that doesn't work try again and then again. And when you succeed you will forever know that you've done it .  No one can take that away from you.  -dP

Friday, September 16, 2016

My Gut Instinct

I've said before " What recourse no discourse? "  There are those that will say  "well you have your Second Amendment Rights.  So  that's our right? -dP

Wednesday, September 14, 2016

For Instance; Was Ronald Reagan the Eyes Over Africa When Jerry Brown and Linda Ronstadt Were Vacationing ?

What's the difference?  If its not topical, it's apropos of nothing. It's something of another time.  The Tonight Show wouldn't go near it. -dP

Tuesday, September 13, 2016

When It Rains It Pours

For a very long time, my grandmother  told me two things are for sure: The weather has never been the same since man landed on the moon, and they always know who's going to win the lotto before they pick the numbers.  How true.  -dP

Sunday, September 11, 2016

Salute to my Geometry Teacher

I know who I am.  I am the sum of my parts. I am whole. -dP

Saturday, September 10, 2016

Poli-Sci 101

As an adult, I still eat peanut butter.  But these days it's on whole wheat without jelly.  And of course it's with a cold glass of fat free, aka skim milk.
But when I was younger the newspapers reported that the Communists were conspiring to get us hooked on sugar. So they put it in our peanut butter.  What would Ronald Reagan say today if he were alive.  It's still in mine. -dP

Thursday, September 8, 2016

Bang !

If you reach the Alpha you've found the Omega. -dP

Saturday, July 30, 2016

What Are The Odds?

What are the odds? Of What? That one US political party would support its loathed candidate to elect him in order to bring him up on impeachment charges. Why?  With the help of the opposition party he could be convicted and removed from office in favor of his Vice President.  Why so?  The Vice President was not the demagogue the president was. What are the odds? The odds are pretty good.  After all, this is 21st century America.  -dP

Sunday, July 24, 2016

The Revolution Re-Visited (1776)

The Revolution will now be live-streamed.  -dP

Monday, July 18, 2016

His/HerStory

I like convention. Especially this time of the quadrennial year.  But I was thinking: who would be more likely if elected President of The United States of America, to put up black shutters on the White House or paint the front door red? A man or a woman? -dP

Saturday, July 16, 2016

The Apple of My Eye

Whenever I travel I see "Brooklyn NY" or "Brooklyn USA" shirts and accessories everywhere.  And when I get home what do I see ?  Bronx is getting jealous of Brooklyn. But I tell Bronx, "you have the NY Yankees so  what more do you need?"   They're still jealous.  What should Bronx NY do? -dP

Monday, July 4, 2016

E Pluribus Unum ( July 4th 2016 )

I always thought that the best present anyone ever received as a gift was what the People of France gave us for our 100th birthday. Lady Liberty. The Statue that stands over all of us. "Give us your tired your hungry your poor," she says.  "All of you".  "We'll put you to work and we'll protect you. Now that you are one of us, we'll take care of the rest." Thank you France and Happy Birthday America.  -dP

Thursday, June 23, 2016

No Way To San Jose

When the problem seems too difficult to overcome, remember that there's always a way to get from point A to point B.  It's called a straight line. Just head out in that direction.  -dP

Tuesday, June 21, 2016

Down The Shore

There's an old saying in New Jersey. Vote early. Vote often.. That usually works but a lot of out- of- staters sometimes get the Voting booths mixed up with the Toll Booths on the Garden State Parkway. That's were all the confusion is. -dP

It's Never a Long Way to Tip a Few Beers

Once a friend always a friend. That's the way it should be. So no matter how far away your friends are, they're never too far away to say "Hey".  -dP

Monday, June 20, 2016

Old Man Winter

Yesterday was the Summer Solstice.  Yes the first day of Summer.  Showers have already turned to flowers and they are about to give way to lawn clippings.  That's right lawn clippings.  What could be worse than that?  What's worse if you stop to think about it, is that from now on, the days get shorter and shorter; with less light, less warmth..... then Winter is here all over again.  But, don't worry. Summer will return next year.  Same time, same place, same channel. Be there or be square.  -dP

What Time Is The 4 o'Clock News On?

Round and round the world goes round and when and where it stops nobody can tell. But when it does do you turn to your tv, radio or personal communication device?  Then to quote a reliable source, "news is always biased because someone has to decide what we see hear or read".  And that's my news for the day.  -dP

The Summer Soltice (June 2016)

On the first day of Summer, remember this: Everything isn't what it is. One Heiney a Summer doesn't make.

Sunday, June 19, 2016

Happy Father's Day

Dad's are great, but one of the best things about mine as I got older were the hand-me-downs.  As an adult I fit into all his cool shirts. But now he's gone and I miss him.  What I have now is hand-me-ups from his grandson. And since he reminds me of my father, I'm still happy because he's here even though my father isn't . Happy Father's Day dad.  -dP

Saturday, June 18, 2016

Am I Naked Under What I Have On?

Yes.  I always am naked under what I have on. And I see that you are too. You didn't think I knew?  I figured it out.  Now you know what I know.  -dP

Thursday, June 16, 2016

Comme ci, Comme ca (Cedilla omitted)

Tit for tat, this for that, you scratch my back and I'll scratch yours, quid pro quo, one hand washes the other. They all mean the same thing:  Six of one, half a dozen of the other, that's what they mean. -dP

Til' We Meet Again

When we met, I told you  plain and simple, "We will respect your revolution if you respect our revolution of 1776."  From there we agreed on some things but on others we didn't see eye to eye.  If we meet again, we can continue our dialogue. -dP

Wednesday, June 15, 2016

Eight Days a Week (The Beatles Revisited, Again)

I like to do things. I do things all the time.  But I have the best time on Thursdays.  So I always do things that are fun to do on Thursdays.  I was born on a Thursday, maybe that's why.  But there's one thing wrong about Thursday.  No one ever wrote a song about Thursday. -dP

It's The Law

The Law of the US Circle is the singular law of the US Constitution.  -dP

Me Myself and I (The Beatles Revisited )

I am me and you are me and we are me but we're not me together.  -dP

Tuesday, June 14, 2016

My Greek Chorus

Life's short, but sometimes My Greek Chorus chimes in with what seems like a professionally produced,  "A three hour tour......a three hour tour".
All of a sudden, enlightenment. And I think I understand it all. But then another "Three hour tour,.... a three hour tour". So when you think you've got it all figured out just remember Gilligan finally did get off the island and he did it without My Greek Chorus.  -dP

The Problem of Math

It's been a long time since I learned that you can't add apples and oranges.
But after thinking about it just as long, 3 apples plus 2 oranges = 5 pieces of fruit.  There's no two ways about it. Yes Sister Virginia, I don't want to say that you were wrong, but  you can add apples and oranges, plain and simple.  -dP

Coup d Lingua

The great debate. My words against theirs. Their case was strong.  I made my point. And counterpoint. They failed. I was victorious. A war of words.  Achieved  diplomatically.   -dP

Happy Flag Day

Do your colors run Red White and Blue?  Do you know the difference between the flags of Russia France and Netherlands? Do you care?
Is there a reason to care? True Colors don't run.  -dP

The Real Mona Lisa

When they tell you "Smile, you're on Candid Camera", do they really mean it?  Maybe they just mean "We've  got you now! "  Next time I would re-consider signing that permission to use your image agreement.  -dP

Change for a Buck

Got a Bill?   I'll break it for you.  But I can't guarantee it's full faith and credit.  Only the US Government can do that. So be careful who breaks that buck for you.  -dP

Monday, June 13, 2016

The Language of Languages

Languages think for themselves. But when our language change we don't know what we are hearing until it becomes an accepted form of communication. When it does, then we all speak the same language.  -dP

Call Waiting

I picked up the phone the other day. I do a lot on my phone. But after looking at it for a moment wondering what I wanted to do, I remembered that I wanted to make a call....?  -dP

Sunday, June 12, 2016

Corpus Lingua

Body language. You can read it all day long, and it will always tell you the truth.  But it will also fool a lie detector test.  -dP

Janus and Me

In the beginning, faces. Everybody has one.  Janus, though  had two. So we call him two-faced. But he was a very forward looking personality. He was also  a little backwards. Hence, his nick name, the God of Coming and Going. So if you think that you might have  more then one face, just ask yourself this  "who's my other face, and what is  he doing?"  -dP

Thursday, June 9, 2016

Game's On

Life's a horse race. Betting on it doesn't make it any better or worse. Remember the old adage, " it's not whether you win or lose, it's how you play the game".  -dP

Post No Bills

Everyone needs a word for the day.  Just tell someone what the word for the day is and wait till it comes back to you later on. You can even make up a word.  You might even hear it on the radio or tv.  Maybe you'll hear it at the supermarket. But you'll definitely hear it back.  And that's my word for the day.  -dP

Wednesday, June 8, 2016

You've Got A Case

I say I knew it first. You claim you knew it before me.  I say you know it ex post facto...... That's my claim. -dP

Synonyms

You say you are sorry. That just means you are a sad person. Do you mean that you apologize?  Or don't we understand each other?  Communication is the answer to the problem.  -dP

A Chicken In Every Pot and a Car in Every Garage ?

The Re-poop-licans will poop all over you. The Dime-a-crats will nickle and dime you to death.
So in this election year;

''I promise you a Raisin in every Cheerio and a box of Cheerios Brand Raisin O's in every kitchen.
Thank you and good night."   -dP

Yes We Have No Bananas

My mother told me a long time ago that I had the best nose in the family. I thought it was because all of her sisters and their daughters had their noses done (at Montefiore), and mine didn't need it.  That was when I was a little boy.  I didn't tell her that my father was my nose but I figured out later that she knew. My father's gone now and so is my mother. I have a girlfriend  and I have a best friend. And that is what I know. -dP

Monday, June 6, 2016

Black Is Black

This is my opinion.  Black people have a habit of using the Black Word while speaking amongst themselves. But when the conversation includes White People or is overheard by White People, then Black People equip others to use the Black Word themselves.  Besides Blacks, other people will use it to harm or insult. Without thinking we all go for the jugular. But if we speak it, then who is wrong, You, Me or Them?

Them

Did you ever wonder who they are?  They talk about them all the time. That's what they say. I asked around and it turns out that they are actually the people who predict the weather. But if you ask them they'll tell you that it's not so. They don't predict the weather they forecast the weather.  And that's what "they" say.  -dP

Everybody Knows It

There are only two reasons to do it. Make babies, or have fun.  Everybody does it.  Everybody knows it.  -dP

Mr Moon

Did you know that everything is digital these days.  Even the moons are digital.  Let me explain:  The full moon is 4 quarters of a moon.  4 divided by 4 equals one.  1 is a closed digital switch  (Filling in those circles on your IBM card closes the switch)) .  A new moon is unseen.  Therefore it is a zero moon. Zero is an open digital switch. Hence, the moons are digital. So are they electronic?  In the future.  -dP

Fictionary

If I don't know it, I look it up.  If I don't believe it, I look it up. Don't you?  Sure you do. Seeing is believing.   -dP

Go Your No On?

They say that some know what they know and others don't, but those that do always got their No on.

Sunday, June 5, 2016

The Real CIA

My friend just graduated from the Cooking Institute of America. It's the most prestigious gastronomic College in the world.  And, he confided in me, that at the CIA, if you want to get someone back for spying on you while you're concocting a new secret recipe, just invite him over to your place and feed him an extra thick peanut butter sandwich ,on whole wheat bread, sans milk. That should take care of the problem. -dP

Nick and Tina's Divorce

Nick and Tina have announced that they have broken apart. I guess the cigarette smoke was too much for their in-laws.  -dP

On Translateral Dominance

They say that right handed people live longer and are smarter than left handed people.  They seem always to have more money than lefties also.
But what is it that ambidextrous people have over both of their counterparts?
An ambidextrous person is both left handed and right handed, so he/she can do two things at once. Imagine. -dP

Saturday, June 4, 2016

Love At First Sight

Ahh, she was beautiful.  Shapely and refined.  Intelligent looking too. Everything a man could ever want.  Except for one thing. She was wearing purple, so I knew she was married.   -dP 

Hear Yea, Hear Yea, Hear Yea

Every 4 years a few things happen.  It's a Leap Year. The Olympics roll around, and it's time to elect a President of the United States.
Whew!  But some things being more important then others, at least to some, when choosing a President, make sure you vote for the one candidate that is really going to give you your money's worth.  Because no matter what any candidate says, it always comes down to one thing.  -dP

Etiquette Reimagined

We're so hip these days that most Blue Books have had to confront the problem of how to formally address in writing two husbands or two wives.
Might I suggest Mrr. Bob Clark and Sam Jones and Mss Cindy Smith and Mary Adams. That should solve the problem. Cool.  -dP

Friday, June 3, 2016

Browser Browser Browser

It used to be that whenever I went into the mall for an electronics or computer something or other, I would be lost in a world that I didn't understand. So I figured out early on that the guy who didn't start shaving yet always new more then anybody else.  After awhile I just started to approach anyone that looked 16 years old or younger. It makes me feel good to know that I know something that somebody else doesn't.  Now I always get really good service. -dP

Farhenheit or Centigrade?

When she whispered Vermouth over the glass of Bombay Gin, I knew it was going to be a really dry Martini. Fever. -dP

Don't I Look Like That Famous Movie Star What's His Name?

Fame is fleeting, that's why I never sought it.  -dP

Thursday, June 2, 2016

See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil

When the medium becomes the message,  remember to think.  -dP